Out of Oblivion Page 3

  "So what makes you think he wasn't interested?"

  I shrugged.

  "Well, from the way he was looking at you, especially when you were reading the rules, he seemed interested, but he might not be as vocal about it as Kurt. He might be shy."

  I snorted and sat next to Alexis on her bed. "What do you mean, the way he was looking at me?"

  "You really are blind sometimes, Haleigh. He couldn't take his eyes off you."

  "Well, it's possible he looked away when I looked at him?"

  She rolled her eyes. "Or you didn't notice 'cause you have issues with making eye contact with the guys you like. So what was he saying about Kurt?"

  "Just that he heard bad things about him, and I should be careful."

  "That doesn't sound so horrible. Sounds like he cares."

  I shrugged. "Possibly, but he knows I'm not interested in the lifestyle. That might be a factor. He might prefer submissive women. If that's the case it wouldn't matter if he was attracted to me. It would never happen. At least Kurt doesn't seem to care."

  "Well, if you really like Dominic, why wouldn't you be willing to try being submissive to him?"

  What was it with people trying to convince me to try that stuff? "Not you too."

  "What?"

  "Kurt was trying to convince me I should try it too. He compared it to trying a new food and not turning your nose up to it because it looked or smelled bad."

  "Well, he's kind of right. What would it hurt?"

  I groaned. "Nothing about what I saw last night appealed to me, Alexis. In fact, it made me kind of nauseous."

  "You should learn more about it before you judge."

  "I'm not judging. I'm just not interested, and at least Kurt accepted that and didn't keep pushing. If it's what Dominic wants, I don't see why I should pursue it. We would never be happy together."

  Alexis shrugged and pulled her blankets back up to her neck. "If you say so. I mean nothing against Kurt, but he seems 'old'. Dominic seems more fun, but hey. It's your life."

  I groaned and went to my bed. All the excitement of my night with Kurt had faded, and I was confused again about what I wanted. I liked Dominic, and Kurt wasn't my type. But my mom had once told me when people have a "type" it's usually based on a preconceived notion about who their ideal mate would be. I wasn't sure I had any preconceived notions, but it was possible I did.

  *****

  Alexis, the party animal, was turning 20 and, of course, she couldn't go without a huge celebration. Unfortunately, our dorm was too small, but she had recently started dating a guy who had a fairly large apartment. Jason offered to host her birthday party. As a hater of all things to do with parties, I spent most of my time hiding in Jason's kitchen. It wasn't an open floor plan apartment, so the walls separated me from the commotion across the hall. The only time I had to be social was when someone came looking for more food or drinks.

  Jason came in a few times. The first time he tried to coax me into joining the fun, but I told him I had a headache, so he offered me some Tylenol, which I accepted to keep up appearances. The next few times he seemed like he wanted to talk to me, but someone was always with him, so he smiled and left after he got what he needed. He came back the last time alone, and he gazed at me hesitantly.

  "Is something wrong, Jason?"

  "Nothing's wrong." He sighed. "Look, I've got a message for you from Dominic, and I'm not sure how you'll take it."

  Why did that not surprise me? "So just tell me. I can pretty much guess."

  "He said he's learned some pretty nasty stuff about Kurt and suggests you don't see him again. He said to tell you it's not rumors this time."

  "Why couldn't he tell me himself?" He might have known I liked him and wanted to avoid me, so he wouldn't have to turn me down face to face.

  Jason shrugged. "I don't know. I just promised to pass on the message."

  I had been going back and forth in my mind between Dominic and Kurt and, in the end, Kurt still seemed the more logical choice. I thought I had given up on any hope of ever having anything with Dominic, so it surprised me it hurt so much he would send a message through his cousin rather than meet me himself. It was obvious, now, he wasn't interested. I fought back the tears stinging my eyes.

  "Well, you can tell Dominic thanks for the warning, but it's none of his business."

  Jason's shoulder's sagged. "Sorry, Haleigh. Don't hate the messenger, okay?"

  I forced a smile. He didn't deserve my sudden foul mood. After he rejoined the party, I didn't want to be there anymore. I slithered my way through the crowd and slipped out the door. The walk back to the dorm would take well over an hour, but it would help me think.

  What was so wrong with me he wanted nothing to do with me? I mean was it really about the BDSM or was it something else? Asking Jason about it would be too weird. He might think I was getting too personal. Besides, it would have gotten back to Dominic. I didn't get why he couldn't even take the time to see me himself if he was so concerned about my well-being, and more importantly, why did he care? It wasn't as if he knew me well enough to care what happened.

  Well, okay. It might have been the kind of human to human caring people extend to strangers, but if that was it, he was going above and beyond. If Kurt was such a bad guy, it would become obvious as I learned more about him. The first warning was—well, it was weird, but sort of understandable, but to keep coming back with more warnings. Dominic may have been the creepy one.

  No, he wasn't creepy, and that was the problem. He was perfect. Well, almost perfect. My mom was right. I had an image of my perfect man. It was Dominic, but he was untouchable. It made me want to throw something. Why couldn't I be his vision of perfection? Why couldn't he like me even if I wasn't interested in BDSM?

  By the time I made it to the dorm, the tears were flowing freely. I curled up in my bed and let go. How was it possible to experience such loss over someone I had just met? I saw him once and only spoke to him a couple times for a few minutes each time. He was a stranger. I was crying for a stranger as though we had broken up after a long term relationship. This was so ridiculous and irrational, but instead of my logic making me feel better, I cried harder.

  I had never been this attracted to a guy before, so that might have been a factor. I've met gorgeous guys, but I'd never been drawn to them the way I was with Dominic. And I never pursued a guy before either, especially the cute ones. I couldn't imagine what they'd see in me, so I dated the guys who showed interest in me whether I had an interest in them or not, and I usually didn't.

  It was the rejection. That's why I felt so awful. If he had told me he wasn't interested, I could have handled that. Especially if he told me he was only interested in dating submissive women. But being avoided because he wanted nothing to do with me made me wonder if he was repulsed by me or something. He was so nice and polite at his brother's house, but it's possible he didn't want to seem rude. Maybe the real reason he sent me up to watch the movie wasn't for my benefit, but because he didn't want me around.

  What hurt most though was he was trying to sabotage a potential relationship with someone who showed interest in me. Fine. He didn't have to like me, but why did he need to keep me from finding love somewhere else?

  *****

  When Alexis came home, hours later, I pretended to be asleep. I was so emotionally drained at that point, I didn't want to discuss what was wrong. I couldn't stop my sniffling though, and Alexis must have heard it.

  "Are you okay, Haleigh?"

  I remained still, hoping she would assume I had sniffled in my sleep or something.

  "I know you're awake," she said, sitting on the edge of my bed. "What happened? Why did you leave the party?"

  I sat up. "Jason gave me a message from Dominic. He said he found information on Kurt that proves he's bad news."

  "He couldn't bother to tell you himself?"

  I shook my head.

  "Did he at least pass on this proof so Jason could show you?"
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  "No, nothing."

  "I'm sorry, Haleigh. I'll talk to Jason and ask him to tell Dominic to leave you alone. Jason says he's a nice guy, but Dominic seems more interested in interfering in your life than becoming involved in it. That doesn't seem right."

  I was so glad my friend understood. At least now I didn't have to wonder if I was being irrational.

  "It's possible he's the jealous type," Alexis suggested. "Maybe he's the one you need to steer clear of."

  I shrugged. "I don't know if he means any harm, but his indifference has certainly made me feel like shit."

  "So don't think about him anymore. I mean at least Kurt seems to like you. Are you going to see him again?"

  Alexis' sudden change of heart baffled me. She seemed to be routing for Dominic all that week, convinced he must like me or something. His recent behavior must have made her realize it was all in her mind.

  "We have plans to go to dinner tomorrow night."

  "Good. Forget about Dominic, okay?"

  We hugged. "Okay."

  Chapter 4

  As much as I wanted to forget Dominic, as Alexis suggested, I couldn't seem to get him off my mind. I went back and forth between wanting to ask him up front what his problem was and wanting to erase him from my memory. As I sat, pushing my food around on my plate, I didn't notice Kurt watching me.

  "You seem to have something on your mind," he said.

  I smiled. "It's not a big deal."

  "Well, it is if it's affecting your appetite. I would like to help if I can."

  "Don't be angry okay? Dominic, from the party the other week, has been trying to warn me off about you. It's been upsetting me."

  Kurt sighed and set down his fork. "Well, first, I'm not angry. At least not with you. If I'm angry with anyone, it's the people who started the rumors about me that Dominic is buying into. Are you worried they might be true?"

  "No. To be honest, I don't even know what it's all about. All anyone has told me is you are bad news, and I shouldn't see you anymore."

  "So he's telling you to avoid me, but won't tell you why?"

  I nodded. "Well, he sent his cousin to tell me."

  Kurt chuckled as he shook his head. "Couldn't even tell you himself, huh?"

  I shrugged, my mood lightening. Another person who believed Dominic should have had the decency to tell me himself.

  "Don't worry about Dominic. I'll speak with him. Would you like to know what happened?"

  I shrugged, hiding my curiosity. "Only if you want to tell me."

  "Well, it's not something I enjoy talking about, but since it's out in the open I would prefer you heard the truth."

  "Okay."

  Kurt took a deep breath before he started. "I met a submissive a little over a year ago at an event in Oakland. We became friends and started playing together. She developed feelings for me, but I didn't share them. It upset her, so she told people I had raped her and tried to force her to be my slave. Things became so bad for me in Oakland, I had to leave. I moved here a couple months ago to escape all that nonsense, but it seems it's followed me here."

  My blood boiled. "That's horrible. I hate when people tell lies that destroy other people's lives like that."

  "Thank you for understanding and believing me. Few people do. As long as you believe me, it doesn't matter what other people think."

  I smiled. "I'd never believe something without proof, and I hate rumors. I hate the people who spread them even more."

  "Don't waste your time on hate, Haleigh. It's not worth it. Just acknowledge there are people like that in the world and move on. That's what I've had to do. I refused to allow lies to destroy my life."

  Now I was sure he was the better man for me. "I was the object of a horrible rumor in high school that caused me to be bullied for months. In fact, it's why I left Hawaii. So I understand how you feel. I would never wish that on anyone else."

  Kurt took my hands in his and kissed them, his eyes never leaving mine. It sent a shiver through me.

  "You're an amazing woman, Haleigh Lucas."

  I smiled, until realized I never told him my last name. Oh well, it didn't matter. He must have heard it from someone around town. It was a small college town.

  "Have you thought anymore about whether you will stick with graphic arts?" Kurt asked.

  "I'm not sure. I want to. I enjoy it, and I would love to make a career out of it, but I'm not as good as some of the others. I worry I'll get through school only to find I'm not good enough to find work."

  Kurt released my hand and picked up his fork again. "You shouldn't sell yourself short. With practice you can be just as good as anyone else. Don't give up because you haven't found your groove, yet."

  "My groove?" I giggled.

  A smile lit his face. "Yes, your groove. Did I show my age?"

  "I think you did, but I won't tell anyone if you don't."

  "Thanks."

  I took a bite of my food, my appetite suddenly returning. "You know, you're the first person, aside from my parents, to tell me that."

  "Oh? Do they live nearby?"

  I shook my head as I swallowed another mouthful of food. "No, they still live in Hawaii."

  "Are you close with them?"

  "Very. I've always been close with them, even when I was growing up. I never went through a rebellious teen stage most kids seem to go through. They respected my independence, and I respected them enough to stay out of trouble."

  "Sounds like you had a wonderful childhood."

  "I did. I think my parents are the best in the world."

  Kurt grinned. "Do they visit often?"

  "No, unfortunately they used all their savings to pay for me to go to school. They live off of their retirement fund now, but it's not a lot. Just enough for them to live comfortably, but not enough for traveling. I plan to stay with them for a while after I graduate. First, I'll need to get a temporary job and save up for a plane ticket. I wanted to work and go to school, so they wouldn't need to spend all their money on me, but they insisted I focus on my studies."

  "They sound like great parents. What about other family?"

  "Nope, just me and my parents. They were both only children and my grandparents all died before I was fifteen. So it was only us growing up, but I think that's why we were so close. I don't mind it so much."

  "You must have friends here you are close with."

  "Well, there is Alexis, but I'm not close with anyone else. We go out with others on the weekends, but they are more like acquaintances. I'm not a social person. It could have been because I grew up in such a small town with only my parents."

  "Perhaps. It certainly explains why you were so standoffish with me to start with."

  Well, that, and I was uncomfortable around him for some forgotten reason, but I didn't want to tell him about that, so I shrugged.

  *****

  By the end of our meal, my mood lifted. Dominic was forgotten, and I was more certain than ever there might be something between me and Kurt. He understood me where most people didn't, and now I knew it was likely because we shared a similar bad experience. I was certain I would support him no matter what anyone said now. He deserved no less.

  "Are you ready to go back to your dorm, or would you like to go back to my place for coffee and dessert?" Kurt asked as we left the restaurant.

  I smiled. "I would love to join you for dessert."

  When we reached his car, he opened the door for me and waited there until I sat, so he could close it. Such a gentleman. It made me smile. No guy had ever done that for me before, and it made me feel like a princess.

  "You know, Haleigh. I meant what I said when I told you how amazing you are. I've never met anyone like you, and I enjoy spending time with you. I would love to continue seeing you if you like."

  "I would love that too, Kurt. You're the first person I've met since coming here that has been supportive and encouraging. It's a nice change."

  Kurt smiled and reached over to caress m
y cheek. "I'm glad."

  It sent a shiver through me and something stirred. I bit my lip. When I glanced at him, I noticed his breath quickening. I was glad it was a short drive to his place because it seemed he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. We were kissing before we made it inside, and the minute the door closed we were practically ripping each other's clothes off.

  "Do you think we're moving too fast," I said in gasps as he inched us toward his sofa.

  "Perhaps, but in my experience, I've learned sometimes you need to go with your feelings, Haleigh. And I want you now."

  "I want you too."

  He pulled my head to his, and his lips were on mine again, stealing my breath. As soon as we backed into his sofa, he guided me onto it while he knelt next to me, his mouth never leaving mine. He pulled my legs open, so he had easy access as he pushed my underwear aside and slid a finger in and out of me, rubbing my a-spot as he did. I lifted my hips to push his finger deeper and get some friction on other sensitive and needy areas, but he pulled out of me.

  "Don't," he said, breathlessly. "Let me. I will make you come, just let me do it, okay?"

  I nodded, and he began again. I tried not to move, but it was hard. When I lifted my hips again, he pulled out. I groaned, making him chuckle, but he didn't start again until I relaxed. Every time I moved, he stopped again. It wasn't long before I realized I would be tortured all night if I didn't stay still, so I forced myself not to move. I needed an orgasm.

  It paid off to stay still. I was so close now, but as I was about to come, he slid his fingers out. At first I thought he would stop, but he slid my underwear off. I lifted my hips to make it easier, then wrapped my legs around his waist as he climbed on top of me. He rammed himself into me. I cried out, partly from the pain and partly from the shock. It had been a while, but the pain lasted only a moment. Soon I was meeting his fast-paced thrusts as my orgasm built again, and I exploded around him.

  It wasn't long before he came, and we lay there catching our breath. Suddenly something occurred to me.